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NightLigt's avatar
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Please comment. i would love your feedback!

This is one of my better old stories. I like the swapping of roles.

Please critique, it will help me make my stories better

Edit: I made some subtle changes to the phonetics of the moaning and other sounds, I hope it helps the flow.
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© 2014 - 2024 NightLigt
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kyoshira71's avatar
You know I just noticed something, I like the way you change the letters from lower to upper case in your phonetics. It really helps add to them.

Good job on this one, that is one heck of a way to wake up in the morning.